A poignant moment took place during my “Ask Me Anything” breakout session last month at Success Summit. I want to share it with you for a couple reasons:
For one, I think many people will relate to the situation I’m about to describe. (I know I do.)
And second, because within my reply was a point I believe is very important for everyone to understand.
Here’s what happened:
A woman stood up and identified herself as a mother of five children under 11 years of age. She said she’s a driver personality, very competitive and has a bunch of great opportunities at her doorstep.
She’s building a team.
She’s working with developers.
She’s involved in some big investment deals.
Her brokerage is asking her to teach other agents.
She’s trying to be a good mom.
…And as a result, she feels like she’s being pulled in a million different directions.
Her question for me was how can she achieve greater focus and capitalize on those opportunities when she has so much on her plate.
She said she was struggling with “being good enough for everyone.”
Sound familiar? Relatable?
It certainly was to me.

Here’s What I Told Her

First of all, I understand this feeling. She’s a giver. A “people pleaser.” And she wants to serve as many people as possible. I can relate.
She gives and gives and gives of herself. (She even said her one scheduled day off was typically spent volunteering at her church.)
She’s not giving enough to herself.
For true “giver” personalities like this, the key is to take care of yourself first. That means getting up earlier, exercising, eating right…
When you do these things, you’ll have an abundance of energy to serve others and make a greater difference.
I also told her to have an important conversation with her coach about the power of saying “no.”

The Power of Saying No

Saying “no” can be a difficult thing for many people. We all want to please and be liked by others. We want to say yes. We want to invite more opportunity into our lives.
But sometimes, the more you say yes to things on the periphery, the more you get taken off course. You lose focus.
When you learn how to say no and use that skill tactfully, you establish personal boundaries that are crucial to avoiding excess stress and ultimately, burn out.