How to Develop Self Discipline & Get What You Really Want

What is the most crucial element that determines your success in any endeavor? Some might think it’s skill. Others might believe it’s people skills. And some might assume it’s charisma. However, none of these are the true answer.

The key is your energy, but not just any kind. Scientists refer to it as “activation energy.” This is the essential amount of energy needed to initiate change at a cellular level, leading to a complete transformation.

That’s the term I’ll use today because we’re discussing transformation. Activation energy is generated when you enhance self-discipline and pair it with motivation. The best part is, I can guide you on how to develop it.

When it comes to how to achieve goals and how to get what you really want, there are six steps you can take to get this energy flowing in your life and build self-discipline. Curious to know what they are? Let’s dive right in…

What is Self Discipline?

Self-discipline is the capacity to regulate one’s behavior, emotions, and actions in the pursuit of long-term goals or values. It entails making deliberate decisions to prioritize tasks, remain focused, and sustain consistent effort, even when faced with distractions, temptations, or challenges.

Self-discipline often involves postponing immediate gratification, controlling impulses, and adhering to self-imposed standards or commitments. It is vital for personal and professional success, as it cultivates resilience, productivity, and perseverance in achieving desired outcomes.

How to Develop Self Discipline

Building self-discipline is the key to unlocking your full potential and achieving what you truly want in life. By setting ambitious goals, reshaping your identity, embracing discomfort, breaking habits into smaller steps, and mastering the power of saying “no,” you create the foundation for lasting change.

The key to develop self discipline is to start small, stay consistent, and harness your activation energy to propel yourself forward. It won’t always be easy, but the rewards of self discipline far outweigh the temporary discomfort. Take the challenge, commit to the process, and watch your transformation unfold.

Steps to Increase Self-Discipline

Change Your Identity to Change Your Situation

So many people think they need to DO something in order to HAVE something, and after that, they’ll BE that kind of person.

I want you to flip it. Start with your identity. Build your self-discipline and BE the person you want to be so that DOING the work will come naturally. If you want to quit smoking and someone offers you a cigarette, you could respond one of two ways:

  • No thanks. I’m trying to quit.
  • No thanks. I don’t smoke.

The first one means you’re sacrificing something you normally do. The latter expresses that you already are the person who doesn’t want cigarettes. Choose the latter.

Be > Do > Have

 

Break Difficult Habits Down into Their Smallest Parts

Habits are one of the hardest things we can change because they require us to do them WITHOUT FAIL.

Have you ever told yourself that you were going to:

  • Send out five CMAs a day
  • Go to the gym for an hour every day
  • Meditate for 20 minutes before a listing appointment
  • Dedicate every evening entirely to spending time with your family

Unfortunately, things come up. Time gets away from us. We get too tired to follow through. You say you’re just going to have to skip today and the next thing you know a month has gone by.

Breaking these habits down into smaller, more manageable bits will encourage you to at least get started, and once you’re started, it’s a lot easier to build self-discipline and keep going. Try something like this:

  • Do one CMA a day
  • Go to the gym for five minutes (you’ll probably end up staying for longer)
  • Meditate for two minutes before an appointment
  • Turn your phone off during dinner

Once you do one of these tiny things, you’ve accomplished the habit for the day. Everything else is extra.

 

Want More

I guess I could’ve said that you need to know what you want, but so many people dream too small to ever motivate themselves. Your goals need to be big enough to boost motivation and excite you!

To cultivate self-discipline, it’s essential to be truthful about your motivations. Are you aiming to lose weight for better health, or is it to feel confident at the beach? Do you want to secure more deals to boost your savings, or is it to purchase a Tesla?

Now, obviously, I’m not saying to shoot for shallow goals or spend your money unwisely, but you need to find that thing that makes you smile when you think of it.

 

Get Comfortable with Discomfort

 

To achieve this, concentrate on your goals rather than your emotions—since no one naturally wants to tackle difficult tasks. Life often presents discomfort, and avoiding it means relinquishing control over your life. Cultivate self-discipline to regain that control and actively pursue situations that challenge your comfort zone.

When you wake up in the morning, don’t hit the snooze button. Get up, right away, no matter how tired you feel, and start your day. You know the physical force you feel when you do that? That’s the force required to change your life.

Try taking a cold shower, using the stairs instead of the elevator, eating only raw vegetables for lunch, or simply doing anything that challenges your willpower. Once you master control over your body and mind, managing other aspects of your life will become much simpler.

 

Learn to Say “No”

Steve Jobs said that the most important part of focusing your attention is saying “no” to people. When you allow your attention to be pulled in all different directions, you’re at the mercy of whatever situation comes up.

A mentor I knew would have people enter his office and inquire if he had a moment to discuss something. He would glance up, smile, and reply, “Certainly, I can spare five minutes… Return at 3:30.” That was the designated time he reserved for such discussions.

 

The 5-Second Rule

Could counting down from five really be a life-changing habit? Past BluePrint speaker, Mel Robbins says it absolutely is. She even wrote a phenomenal confidence and self-transformation book on it!

By giving yourself a countdown, you separate yourself from the situation and commit automatically, like jumping into a pool.

The next time a good idea pops into your head, count down silently from five, and after you hear the word “one” in your head, just go do the thing. If you wait – if five seconds pass from the time you thought the idea and you haven’t taken action – the idea is dead.

 

So How Do I Develop Self Discipline?

Developing self-discipline starts with setting clear goals and creating a structured routine to stay on track. Break tasks into manageable steps, prioritize consistency over motivation, and eliminate distractions that hinder progress. Building self-discipline also requires practicing delayed gratification, holding yourself accountable, and staying committed even when challenges arise. Over time, small daily habits, such as sticking to a schedule and following through on commitments, strengthen self-control and make self-discipline a natural part of your routine.

A Self-Discipline Dare from Me to You

I know some of this stuff can sound… well… uncomfortable. That’s the entire point. But when you have an ambition worth striving for and increase your self-discipline to achieve it, you’d be doing everyone in your life a disservice if you didn’t.

So, I dare you to take the tools I’ve just given you and get started today. Once you tap into your activation energy, everything else takes off at rocket speed.

And if you’re really looking to activate your energy and change your life, there’s no better place to do that than the biggest real estate event of the year. Look into one of our Success Summits! If you want to know the SPECIFIC things that you need to do to DOUBLE your business and buck this recession, Summit is the place you need to be.